so this is how it ends

it's an unfortunate ending to such a beautiful story

but somewhere along the lines it always goes astray

I'll miss the laughter we shared

and how you made me felt

sometimes though it's time to move on

and it looks like I was the one who was left behind

self-pity has never been an outlook I express

so I quickly filled the void

with any vacuous sex

and hollow-conversations that remind me often times

of you.

the way this drew to a close could've been very different

if simply you had cared

or shown any sort of concerned effort

but if you have to ask for someone to care

then is their effort truly genuine?

I'm not some ring 

that you can choose to wear

when I look back on it I still think of

the hood of the red car your shoes scratched up

or when we to Raven's Run and held hands atop a mountain-ledge

our lips touching for the first time

and I felt something very different

you warned me early that this wasn't your strong suit

but I pursued anyways

and there is so much more that you remind me of

but it hurts to remember

because of how emotionally invested I was

which was the downfall, more for you

than for I

this writing has fucking sucked, and I realize it is no longer a skill I possess. but sometimes articulating the thoughts that plague me late at night helps me rationalize a situation.

I miss you. I miss the living fuck out of you. I fucking hate myself for missing you. Fuck. You came around only to knock me down. And I'm not alright with this.

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song: Stuck