eulogy

At my grandfathers funeral, I can remember my grandmother giving a particularly poignant eulogy about her lifelong partner. She spoke, through clenched teeth and teared eyes, about how her husband had remained a man of God throughout his days walking the earth. Struggling to produce the words which would convey the heaviest weight, she stressed how he had been a "shepherd for the sheep." The reference gave acknowledgement to the principle that my grandfather was able to steer those with less vision in a more godly direction. And while my grandmother continued to elaborate for another thirteen and a half minutes about her better half being gone, my mind remained occupied with the words she had given.
So in that moment, with a passing breeze sending the final leaf off a weathered oak tree, a thought resonated throughout my entire being. I understood that I was no shepherd like my grandfather had been. Noble traits which he possessed were those which I lacked. The knight in shining armor that he would be memorialized as would be forgotten entirely when I would find myself six feet under.
I also recognized that I was no sheep. Even when visibility was low, I had always been able to traverse a path that had served me well.
While standing next to my father, whose shoulders were heavy burdened with grief, I concluded that my nature was one of much greater darkness. Neither shepherd or sheep, I was wolf; Stalking my prey, waiting for a moment of weakness to arise so I can pounce on the weakest and painfully drag them off to a secluded area where they suffer their last moments before finding out that their religion was a scam the entire time.

So from that moment on, I looked at those around me differently.