I've never understood why insects are attracted to lights; the light always lead to their ultimate demise. But they don't care, they die doing something which encapsulates their whole being. In that aspect, insects can be respected.
But for all other reasons, fuck insects.
Opening the screen door properly is key to the entire operation. If bugs are let inside, you have to deal with the constant fear of awakening to one next to your head. Or even worse, crawling out of the toilet seat while you are using it. Nothing worse than feeling arachnid legs delicately traversing the outer skin of a bare ass.
So the door is opened cautiously, so as not to let the insects in. A quick escape from house wall is necessary in order to avoid the large mesquitos and other air-borne creatures of Satans creation.
Walking bare foot from the smooth concrete patio to the heavily eroded rock walkway is comparable to drinking cyanide while realizing that the plane you are riding is going down. All the while, you have the looming fear of catching West Nile from the blood-sucking vampires. An equally unpleasant experience is what comes next.
Do you either walk painfully along the eroded walkway, or chance walking in the dew-soaked grass which is littered with dog feces. Walking on tacks is painful, but the thought of having warm shit leak between the crevices in your feet is an almost unamiganble alarming situation. So much so that taking tacks through the feet seems to be a comforting comprise.
But you've made it successfully. Made it from the front door to the car door.
Now you are surrounded by the darkness of night and the yells that are emitted from the forest which lies at the base of the driveway. The little light provided by the lights on the top of a vehicle only serve to increase your paronia. They seem to alert the animals of the forest; Here I am, Come Get Me.
Come get me.
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